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The Nuts and Bolts of Being a Psychopomp

Updated: Mar 19, 2023

It is a long time since my previous post. Life is busy. I've been wanting to share for a long time how things work for me now and some resources and information to help others on their psychopomp or spiritual journeys. This post is for you.

So how does it actually work, I hear you ask? How can you hear people's souls, talk to them, even be able to feel what they are feeling and see what they have seen, step into their shoes and see and experience things from their point of view?

This is a short explanation about the 'nuts and bolts' of what being a psychopomp involves for me and how I engage with it on day to day basis. I became a psychopomp by 'accident' (see the About and FAQs) and I have learned by trial and error and through reading some helpful books what my role is, what I need to do and how I can cope best with it all.

I've tried to keep this post quite simple. Therefore, as always, you may find things you feel are far-fetched or difficult to believe. It is also not designed to be a 'how to' guide that would work for everyone. I am simply sharing what works for me at this point in time, on this journey that I am on. If things resonate for you, it might give you some direction for things you could look into further or try for yourself if you feel confident to do so. I would suggest you focus on what feels comfortable and right for you and what fits with what you are experiencing. I have been guided on my journey by what I refer to as my 'spirit team.' They are a team of helpful, guiding spirits (some human, some animal, some mystical) that came to me in my first journeys. I meet and engage with them when I intentionally journey into the spiritual realm. I explain more about this below. Let's dive in.

Message Received

Here in 'ordinary reality' on earth I listen to my dreams, many of which are visions of other people or animals' lives (that is, they are snippets of someone else's lived experiences). These visions come to me in the light sleep phase (REM) and can be in multiple parts, building a story over the course of the night, a week or even several months. In these visions, I usually see, hear and feel things from the other being's point of view. This means sometimes I can't fully see or understand what is happening (if they don't know). And, because it is just a moment in time, I don't usually know the backstory for why they are there, but I can usually feel their reactions and this is often quite intense. Sometimes I don't see a vision, the soul is simply trying to contact me.

As these visions and messages occur in the light sleep phases, I often wake up afterwards and then I record them immediately, scribbling in the dark with a pencil and notepad that sits by my bed. I always record the date and time that I receive the vision so that I can keep track of things. Occasionally I have experienced a 'time slip', which is when I have a glimpse of a future event (such as an upcoming plane crash). I find I can quite easily distinguish between dreams and visions, with visions being much stronger and more vivid. I also sometimes have ‘shamanic’ visions which guide me in other aspects of my life. I also record, reflect and act upon these.

Look Up

In my psychopomp visions, I'm usually seeing a soul's final moments on earth - how the person's body died. There is usually some mystery around the circumstances (for me at least) and some work to do to help the person's soul move on. Therefore, a bit like a police detective, I refer to each soul's story as a 'case.' For each case I receive, I may look up further information on the internet. In the beginning I did this with every case. I was often able to find the death recorded online, because there would be what I called a 'hook' - an obscure detail in my vision that I wouldn't have been able to guess. Other times, they were quite unusual deaths and, I as usually could see the face of the person who had died, I could identify them amongst the small number of people who had died that way. Other details about the location helped to identify the country or area. Sometimes I had other information from how the soul remembered the event - so, names, places or historical details. I don't find words come through very clearly, they are a bit vague, but all of this helps in my search.

I was initially spellbound to find my visions were real events. I received cases from around the world and different points in time and, as I have rarely watched the news, I felt it was very unlikely that I was recalling news stories that were previously known to me. My spirit team advised me that these 'identifiable' cases were sent to me as proof - to prove to myself that these psychopomp abilities were real and to encourage me to pursue this. I now no longer look for confirmation of the cases I receive. Many of the cases I now receive would be more difficult to identify or track down. I've also learned that I do not need to know the wider story to do my main psychopomp duty, which is to help the soul on their way. The soul is my 'client' and I can simply help them with what they need. This makes it more possible to accommodate the psychopomp work alongside my day to day life and other responsibilities.

For anyone earlier in their psychopomp or spiritual journeys, I would advise caution in looking every vision up on the internet. I found it to be all consuming and emotionally tiring, not to mention upsetting. I have occasionally tried to reach out to help authorities, but this is emotionally intense and time consuming and I have never received a response. I've never contacted individual families (although I could potentially have with a message from the deceased's soul) as it is impossible to know how they are coping with their grief and how my contact might be received. I've learned that it serves little purpose to look up the cases; my role is to serve those souls that ask for help and perhaps help others on their psychompomp journeys, not to solve crimes and mysteries.

Live Life

This is perhaps an odd step to include, but it can be all consuming getting nightly visits from the dead or those in pain, so I had to learn to set boundaries. To do this I had to be tough. As I fell asleep, I would say, “I will not tolerate screams” and other similar boundaries around things I found particularly difficult to deal with. Little by little a sort of filter came between the soul and me, which seems to be managed party by my spirit team and partly by myself. Now it feels as though souls only have access to my help if they come quietly and respectfully, a bit like visiting the doctor.

In the early days I was also very tired with the number of souls seeking my help. It is said that there are not many psychopomps in the modern world, or least, not many who know and understand their abilities and role. It felt as though there was a huge backlog of souls and they were pushing to get to me. I needed a way to slow them down so that I could also manage the responsibilities in my day to day life. I asked my spirit team for help and I was given a 'dragon door' by some benevolent spirits on one of my intentional journeys. This door looked like a Y shaped light, it held the souls back when too many would try to rush through to me. I could see the souls in the way you might see someone walking about breaking the beam of light that passes under a door. When I was ready, I would confirm just as I was going to sleep that the door could be opened that night. I find this all happens naturally now, or I've cleared some of the major backlog, and I no longer need to think intentionally about this anymore.


About once a week, I do an intentional journey into non-ordinary reality (or the spiritual realm). This is when I go intentionally to meet the souls who have come to me in my visions. When they come to me in a vision it is a bit like they are seeking an appointment. They then go to my 'waiting room', which is around a campfire in a dark, desert-type natural environment. My spirit team are there, too. When I intentionally journey I go to the campfire to meet them and help the souls to move on.

I go into non-ordinary reality in the day time. To do so, I prepare a dark, quiet place where I will not be disturbed - no beeps, kids or pets etc. As I've explained before, I do not use any mind-altering drugs or foods. It isn't necessary, is not health-promoting and would be potentially terrifying to not have the control to exit when you want to. I use a rattle, I rattle it around my head. I think the 'white noise' gives my mind a kind of ‘sweep clean’. Then I sing a very simple short song dedicated to my power animal and my work. I breathe deeply as I lie back on my bed and I say my intention out aloud, i.e., “To help the man who…..” I put a blackout mask over my eyes, place headphones on and play a very special drumbeat into my ears. This technique is called 'sonic driving' by some, others call it shamanic drumming, (I recommend looking up the books by Michael Harner). This drumbeat slows down my mind. I then think of a wild, natural place I know well and as the drumbeat plays into my ears I imagine myself journeying down through a hole in the ground. Then I emerge in non-ordinary reality and I find I no longer need to consciously concentrate or hold my mind there, my life and work in non-ordinary reality takes hold and I follow my team and help those souls who are waiting for me.

I usually use a drumbeat soundtrack that lasts 15 or 30 minutes. It feels longer though and at first it was very tiring, but now I'm used to it. The shift in the drumbeat at the end of the track calls me back when it's time to leave. I re-engage then. I close a door to the spiritual world behind me, go back up the hole and emerge in the natural space where I began. I lie there for a moment, as it can still be a little disorienting and tiring travelling between the reality of one world to another. I breathe deeply. Then I document what happened in the other world(s) before I get up and carry on with my day.

Sometimes during these journeys, I take some time to explore non-ordinary reality a little more or I consult my spirit team for advice or guidance on things in my own life. Their answers are not always straight-forward to interpret (I have had to learn to listen better) and they don't always translate to real life (I'm learning to be patient and trust).

Over to You

This is an on-going journey for me and this is how things work for me at the moment and where the focus of my role seems to be for now. Wherever you are in your journey or whatever your interests, gifts or talents, I wish you the very best of luck. I can now enjoy this as a gift, which brings deeper meaning and purpose to my life.

The resources and links above are not my own and I have no affiliation with them, but I have found them valuable on my journey. They may be helpful for you, too.

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