What’s going on? Am I losing it? Or have I already lost it? I’ve definitely lost it. Where to find answers?
I start at the first place most people go to - Google. I start typing, then deleting...my goodness I can’t even tell Google what’s going on! In a strange way I’m embarrassed. Eventually I pluck up the courage to type something in and a word I have never seen before pops up: psychopomp.
My heart sinks at the first part of that strange word: psycho. I hear a dozen voices from my past echoing around in my head, "Psycho, psycho, told you so." Pomp - that's not threatening, though. In fact, it sounds similar to pompiers, the fire and rescue medics in France. They save people. So I take heart in that part of the word. I read on and it says:
A guide of souls to the place of the dead.
This is heavy stuff but at least there’s a name for it. I’m actually rather relieved. In my head I play with this new bold, confronting word: psychopomp.
Then I get brave in my head. I try it on to see if it fits, "I’m a psychopomp. I’m a psychopomp. I AM a psychopomp." Then I get really brave and say it out aloud to my wife. I look her in the eye and say, “I’m a psychopomp”. She looks back at me with a look. She is like the teacher you wish you had as a child, a place of safety and trust. I truly love my wife. Then she leans over my shoulder to look at the screen and says, “Google really does have all the answers, hey?” I smirk, it's out, I am a Psychopomp.