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The Tragic Suicide of A Psychopomp?

Updated: Nov 29, 2020


Mime Show

Vision: Approx. 22:00.

I close my eyes and start to drift into the light sleep state. Blackness. I can’t believe it! Actual blackness. Perhaps I’m going to be able to just pass through to a night's sleep like a normal person. No. In my mind I start to see the shape of a face in the distance. It’s very white and a flash of fear crosses my mind. "Hold it," I think to myself. I focus. The face is closer now and I can see white hands, but far from being scary it's a comical mime. I chuckle to myself. I’m just dreaming. I don't get to do that much now. I roll over to go to sleep. To my surprise the mime artist is still there. I decide to watch the show. He’s very good. It’s light-hearted entertainment. Then to my dismay he turns to look straight at me. His face lights up as if in a beam of light. Then his body flings violently and then falls to the ground. The whole scene is still a mime show, only there’s nothing in front of me except the now still body of the actor. Unmoving. Then it's over.

I have to respect the skill of this man. He used a whimsical show to keep my attention so that he could tell his story. Clever. I lean over and start writing down what I have just seen.



A very clear voice in my real ear, a female voice, “Why would I love him?”


Look Up

Curiosity got the better of me and I decided to do a little search on the internet to see if there were any news stories that corresponded to my vision. I was shocked to find an old news article. A professional actor had thrown himself under a train in the early hours one morning. His body was found at 9 am by another train driver.

Why did he take his own life? According to news reports, a few years earlier the actor had been the first on the scene when member of his extended family committed suicide. The actor tried to resuscitate the person, but to no avail. Following this tragedy he claimed that spirits were fighting for his soul and he had apparently confided to his family that he was having terrible nightmares. He had sought help from the mental health service and the day before his death he had had a ‘spirit’ professional of some sort come and cleanse his home. Clearly this wasn't what was required. The coroner’s verdict was that he had been troubled by ghosts and consumed by understanding the meaning of life and death.

This story got my mind racing. Could a psychopomp have helped here? Could a psychopomp have intervened and perhaps even saved his life? Could he have helped himself if he had known about psychompomping and learned how to journey?



This is when I intentionally enter another state of consciousness to undertake my psychopomp work. I use drumbeat to help me enter this state. I do not use hallucinogenic drugs. If you are new to my blog and some of the below sounds too fantastical to be believable try to just go with it. Different people's experiences of other worlds are surprisingly similar, but they are not exactly the same. I'm sharing with you how I see and experience things.

I’m actually looking forward to meeting this guy. I have a hunch we share a skill or curse. Deep breath: in, out, in, out. Ok, I’m ready. I use my rattle, sing my song and state my intent, “To help the actor. Help the actor. Help the actor." Then I’m on my way, dropping down through layers of reality. An enormous bear meets me at the entrance. It does not mean me harm, it's in the company of ‘She’.

Visions start to swirl and I’m shown a thick-furred puma hunting in deep snow. Its eyes fix on something. A deer, startled and terrified bounds off through the snow. I wonder if the puma may have been the actor's power animal. I ask ‘She,’ but she just tells me, “We’re going back now, so concentrate”. The vision of the puma's hunt over, I start the walk down to the fire circle. When I arrive I see the actor, dressed in his costume, entertaining my spirit team. They are sitting on a log enthralled by his show. Even the onlookers from the darkness beyond the fire seem to be still, entranced by this man's performance. He was acting out various roles that he had played during his acting career.

I watch a little while, but something is wrong I can feel it. Then I see it, or rather her. When he turned a little more dramatically than previously, I caught sight of her. A young woman or perhaps a teen, hunched over. She seemed to actually be hanging onto him. She stared out at me from behind dark eyes, her dark hair covering most of her face. Then quite unexpectedly she went out of focus. Unsure of this, I threw up a blue flare into the sky. Its blue light cast her into clear focus again. At the same time I formed a blue barrier around myself, just in case she was malevolent. I walked over to them both. The actor was very happy to see me. “Show me," I said.

Darkness filled my eyes and I could not see a thing. Stay brave I told myself. You can do this. I heard something distant at first but it quickly became sharp and experiential. At first it was the sounds of a party - the mumble of voices, laughing and music. Then it all changed for terrible screams, and cries for help, then the CPR and more screams. These were sounds I seemed to be hearing in my ears not my 'mind's ear.' Then, over it all, I heard the clear cool voice of ‘She’, “Screams like that normally drive souls away, but not this time. The souls met."

Next I saw a boy pond-dipping with a net. The little boy did a quick flick of his hand and caught a fish. The boy stared at the fish in amazement but unfortunately for a little too long. The fish died in the boy's net as he watched it. The boy I was watching was wearing a French mime outfit. (This is very unlikely to have been what he was wearing at the time, this is a sign to show me that I was seeing the same actor as a young boy).

The darkness faded back and I was back at the fire. The actor was sitting beside me. He was relieved someone had heard his story. Then he turned to me and moved closer until his forehead was touching mine. “I can help her now,” he said.

An unbridled, unsaddled black horse walked up behind us. It dropped its head in salute. I could see its fantastical blue eyes. The actor ran his hand along its back and leapt up like a born horseman, the girl still attached to him. I gave him a small gift. The girl was still with him. I looked at him and asked, “Is there something I’m to learn from you?”

He nodded and I received a jolt of information. The girl with him was an unexpected psychopomp client, but something had happened. Her soul had perhaps become attached to his - she was draining or wrestling his soul in some way. This correlated with what I had read in the media reports, which reported that the actor had described that spirits were fighting for his soul. I'm not sure if the young woman was the relative who had killed themselves, because the reports did not mention an age or gender. Perhaps familial ties along with the horror of the tragedy had caused her soul to become tied to his. Perhaps she was another soul that had tried to reach out to him and somehow become attached when he was unable to help fully.

With that, they rode off. Theatrical-style curtains folded back to reveal a golden light of an ecstatic audience. The curtains closed and they were gone. My team decided it was time for some drifting and so I found myself calm and weightless afloat in the darkness until the change in drumbeat called me back.


I looked over my notes on the case. I think the actor likely had psychopomp abilities much as I do. However, he was unable to control the force. I felt the same at first - terrified to close my eyes at night, visions even happening in the daytime. There is no 'off switch'. You have to learn to manage the flow. Directly experiencing the suicide of his relative and the associated horror and grief perhaps impacted on his mental health and the strength of his soul. He may also never have followed the leads or come across the information that could have helped affirm his experiences and could have supported him to hone his abilities. This case is a key motivation behind the Accidental Psychopomp blog.

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