Pain ripples through my body again causing me to wince. “You're frowning,” my wife says, “You look so grumpy.” Breathe deeply, focus on something else I tell myself. It's the day my sister in-law is coming to visit and she’s travelled half way around the world. Focus or my wife will think I don't like her sister visiting, which would be a shame. Another ripple of pain, worse this time. My wife looks over properly now, her face looks concerned. “Oh no, another panic attack, just breathe, think happy thoughts,” she says. I feel like something is burning right through me. My wife helps me up the stairs into bed. I take painkillers and antacids. They don't work. In the madness that is my life, the new babies wake up and I have to look after them in this state, because my wife has to go to the train station to meet her sister. After 2 excruciating hours of pain, the pain starts to subside. The ladies are back now. I can hear the happy bustle of life downstairs and I can relax. I drift into a deep sleep exhausted from the pain. Thank goodness it's over for now.
When I awake, I have a wonderful late supper with the family and my sister in-law. The conversation turns to my stomach pain, the site of which I can still feel. The next day I have an emergency appointment with the doctor. I am told it’s almost certainly a stomach ulcer but I will need to have an endoscopy to confirm. This is a concern but I must get to the bottom of this reoccurring malady. Little did I know, but this was going to be the push I was going to need to hear my calling, the calling of a psychopomp.
If you suspect you have a stomach ulcer they can be fatal so seek medical help immediately.